Here, we are looking into the basic thoughts we could have that could destroy a very loving relationship. We have those thoughts like;
The All-or-Nothing Trap: You see your partner as either always doing the wrong thing, or never doing the right thing. (“He always has to be right!”)
Catastrophic Conclusions: One partner exaggerates negative actions and events concerning the other partner.
The “Should” Bomb: One partner assumes the other will meet one or more of his or her needs—just because he or she should knows that need.
Label Slinging: You unfairly, and negatively, label your partner and lose sight of his or her positive qualities. (“You are so lazy!”)
The Blame Game: You unfairly, and irrationally, blame your partner for relationship issues, or bigger issues. (“My life only sucks because of you!”)
Emotional Short Circuits: Emotional short circuits occur when one partner becomes convinced that his or her partner’s emotions can’t be “handled.
Overactive Imagination: In this case, you reach negative conclusions about your partner that are not based in reality. (“She’s so preoccupied lately; she must be having an affair.”)
Head Game Gamble: You try to outsmart your partner by erroneously assuming he or she has certain motives.
Disillusionment Doom: This occurs when partners focus on idealized expectations of their partner that are rooted in the past.
While there may certainly be kernels of truth underlying some of these types of toxic thoughts, it is the extent to which we distort, exaggerate, and overly focus on them that can suck the joy out of loving relationships. But being able to look for, and then dwell on, your partner’s positive qualities and behaviors is the key to overcoming these toxic thoughts about him or her.